A few things happened today:

#1 Creating your universe
Ericson and I had a short discussion on the way to meet Sab for lunch. I was reflecting aloud on the past and how I use to surround myself with things I like my life to be about, like the type of music Lush plays on weekend mornings. And how in a sense, I was being a little deluded...creating my own "dream world" that I want to live in. I reminisced a little about the times I'll listen to nice music, with a drink &/or simple cooked meal in my hand, enjoying the ambience by myself. And I thought aloud about how that started to change when I met him and became influenced by his world as well. He said that he thinks it's good that I got out of that thing and in a sense, stopped dreaming. He said that it was because I was being pretentious. And that made me a little sad because those were things that formed a lifestyle which I really wanted.

#2 Dinner with Xin
I had dinner with Xin after rescheduling with A. We caught up a lot and it was enjoyable talking about our time in London. I think we both "bonded" over our memories of the company we had in London. And it reminded me of the pledges I made to myself back then. I so strongly believed that your life is what you make of it and that being in Singapore doesn't mean that you can't have that same "fulfilling" life that you had a taste of when in Europe/Beijing. Yet I still slumped back into the routine of life and let myself be thrown back into "boring Singapore" once work happen and life back here settled in.

#3 Phone call with E
I spoke about #2 when returning E's call. We both discussed the issue of making an effort to live life a little while. I told him we'll talk about it some other time after he became a little unresponsive. He said he was feeling drowsy during the conversation and I guessed that he wasn't in a good mind-frame to think. One comment he made got me a little regretful. He said that he feels the same way but there's a lot of things he does not actively pursue because he's afraid of what my parents will think/say. That made me sad because it revealed a little bit of him. That he's not exactly the kind of person who you'll describe as a go-getter. Or perhaps to better and more fairly comment on him - the things I'd like my partner to actively pursue, he doesn't.

There's a period where I actively say/felt this. To an extent that was perhaps bordered excessive/overrated. But que sera sera.

ps/ very random thought but I suddenly realised how perfectly round periods can be.